On this video lesson, Brian is taken to school on the basic, basic, BASIC fundamentals of volleyball.  Brian, you might want to put on a helmet before attempting any of this.

Personalized, signed versions of this video are available in our Teaching Brian merchandise store for $199.95. If Brian would like one, he can send $199.95.

Brian has a long, illustrious history of being shit at video games.  From WCW vs. nWo on the 64, to Worms, to Counterstrike, to Mario Kart, the list is limited only by the economic constraints of Japan, vast as they are.  But perhaps his biggest video game shortcomings is in GoldenEye.  The man has been killed by everyone, Boris and Robinson, especially.

The best way to be good at video games is to play against Brian, but that isn’t an option for Brian.  So, Brian here are some tips for how to not suck at GoldenEye.

1. Don’t die.  This one is tricky.
2. Don’t play against anyone else.
3. Sell your video game system.
4. Go outside and play some other sports, like volleyball.  Then stop when you realize you suck at that, too.
5. Buy a Game Genie, I guess?  Some cheat codes?
6. Play as Oddjob.  (EDITOR’S NOTE: Everyone who plays as Oddjob sucks by default, consider another course of action.)

These are five helpful pointers, but a mere road map.  It is up to you to make the journey and let it be your guide.